RENT meets some FANS
by Randy Davis.Callie Cohen
Summary: A product of complete and utter boredom from me and my friends one day. Just my friends and I scaring everyone's favorite bohos.


**A/N- okay, this is a really really random story my friends and I thought up while talking about RENT. This of course incorporates my friends (who, for identity's sake, will be known as Eric, Nick, and Amber) into the randomness. **

(Vanessa, Eric, Nick, and Amber are sitting in the office building meeting room, where they have asked the RENT characters (including Angel, who was brought back to life specifically for this purpose) to meet them. Vanessa's long brown hair is pulled back into a high ponytail and she's wearing the RENT t-shirt she got a couple years ago when she saw the show on Broadway tied off in the back so it shows off what little figure she has, a pair of dark-wash bell-bottom jeans, and her new black and white converse she had begged her mom to get her. Amber is wearing her usual My Chemical Romance sweatshirt with a Marilyn Manson shirt underneath, jeans, and her Vans. Nick and Eric both threw on the nearest clean (and in Nick's case that was questionable) clothes and think Amber and Vanessa are crazy for actually caring about what they wear to interview fictional characters. Why is the author telling you this? Well, because she's bored and uninspired to write for her 4 other fanfics.

Suddenly, Mark enters and Vanessa screams. Amber, Nick, and Eric exchange a look and roll their eyes until Mimi and Roger enter laughing, at which point Nick and Amber begin screaming.)

Roger: Hey Mark (gestures to Vanessa) Someone just as albino as you are.

Vanessa: (pouts) This is why Mark's my favorite character, not you.

Nick: (laughs) Mark's just your favorite character because you think he's sexy.

Vanessa: (gestures to Mark) Ummm, hello? He is most definitely sexy.

Amber: (shakes her head) You're insane Nessa. Have you ever seen Roger?

Mimi: (glares at Amber) Just keep your distance, freak

Amber: Who are you kidding, slut? I'll get as close as I want.

Nick: Hey Meems. You can always cry on my shoulder.

Mimi: (laughs) Are you kidding me? I'm way out of your league, kid.

(Amber steps forward with an evil look in her eye. Eric steps between the two girls.)

Eric: Guys! Really, it's not a big deal. We're here to talk to the characters, not murder them.

(Angel enters with Collins, and even Eric screams.)

Eric: OMG! IT'S ANGEL! WILL YOU MARRY ME?

(Vanessa rolls her eyes and whispers something in Eric's ear. He stares at her in disbelief.)

Eric: Really? She's a _he!?!?_

(Vanessa nods.)

Eric: … ummmm…. (blushes)…. Wow.

Vanessa: It just makes Angel all the better though.

Angel: Thank you honey.

Vanessa: Any time chica.

Collins: So, why are we all here again?

Mark: You mean, you guys don't know? (stares at Vanessa, who had been the one to make all the calls asking them to be there) Did you tell anyone besides your little side-kicks why we're here?

Vanessa: Of course not.

(Mark laughs. Maureen and Joanne enter the room.)

Maureen: What the hell is going on in here? I get a call telling me to bring Joanne and come here, and I get here to find everyone and… (stares apprehensively at the four fans)… Who the hell are you guys?

Vanessa: I'm Vanessa. I'm the one who called you. We just want to ask you a few questions.

Maureen: (starting to panic) WHAT?! COLLINS, WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM!? (acknowledges Vanessa again) WHATEVER HE SAID, WE DIDN'T DO IT!

Vanessa: We're not the cops… but just out of curiosity, what did you do?

Angel and Joanne: I don't want to know.

Collins and Maureen: No, you don't.

(Benny walks in and is immediately trapped in a cage, much to the amusement of everyone else.)

Mimi: Okay, you guys are officially cool.

Mark: (glancing at Vanessa) And cute.

Roger: (smacks Mark upside the head) She's probably like what, 16?

Vanessa: 15.

Mark: You seem much older.

Vanessa: So I've been told.

Amber: Oh sure, you get the guy. You always get the guy.

Vanessa: Can I help that I'm adorably nerdy?

Roger: That sounds familiar, doesn't it Mark?

Eric: Okay, how about we all take seats and we can talk.

Benny: I'm still in a cage.

Vanessa: Yeah, we know. You'll be there for awhile.

Nick: Why did we ask him to come again?

Amber: We've all got our questions for him.

Mark: Didn't you suggest sitting?

Nick: Yes, let's sit.

(Everyone takes a seat. Vanessa and Amber at the head of the long table, Mark and Roger on either side of them, Mimi sitting next to Roger glaring at Amber, Maureen next to Mark, Joanne next to Maureen, Angel next to Mimi, Collins next to Angel, Nick next to Joanne, and Eric at the other end of the table keeping Benny quiet. Is this really important? Nope.)

Vanessa: Okay, me first. Mark, have you ever had sexual relations with Roger?

Mark: Absolutely not! I can't stand all those fangirls who write fanfiction about me and Roger sleeping together.

Vanessa: Understandable.

Amber: Hey Nessa, didn't you write one of those fanfictions?

Vanessa: … yeah.

Mark: WHAT? VANESSA, YOU ARE NO LONGER COOL IN MY MIND!

Vanessa: Am I still cute?

Mark: Well… yeah.

Vanessa: I can live with that.

Amber: Okay, me next. My question's for Roger.

Mimi: Stay in your place, bitch.

Amber: Not a chance. Roger, have you ever considered that your current girlfriend is a slut and you should be with someone more… me-ish.

Eric: Way to be subtle Amber.

Amber: Let the man answer Eric.

Roger: Ummmm… well, you _are_ incredibly hot.

Mimi: Roger! (slaps him upside the head)

Roger: What? I'm just speaking the truth.

Amber: Yeah slut, let him answer the way he wants to.

Roger: Well, I would, but you're a little young for me.

Amber: Sadface

Eric: Alright, I'll go next I guess. I have a question for Benny. Benny, have you always been an ass?

Benny: (still in a cage) I'm not an ass.

Everyone except for Benny: Yes you are!

Benny: … You guys are mean.

Vanessa: That's why we're here. If we were nice, no one would want to hear what we were saying.

Mark: She's right you know.

Benny: Stay out of this four eyes.

Vanessa: Oh no he didn't.

Joanne: (to Maureen) I still don't understand why we're here.

Maureen: I don't care. This is fun.

Joanne: I've hardly been acknowledged since we showed up.

Roger: That might be a good thing for you.

Joanne: Well, I'm bored.

Maureen: Me too. Let's leave.

(Joanne and Maureen get up and leave the room. Benny glowers after them.)

Benny: Lucky.

Amber: Shut up Benny. No one cares about what you think.

Roger: You guys are becoming way cooler as this little gathering goes on.

Mimi: I beg to differ.

Angel: Don't worry Mimi. Roger would never leave you.

Collins: I'm still not to happy with that Eric kid.

Eric: Hey, I didn't know dude. Lay off.

Collins: Fine, I'll lay off. Come on, Angel. Let's go.

(Collins and Angel leave)

Mimi: Wait a second? We're allowed to leave?

Amber: You are. You're encouraged to leave. But Roger stays.

Mimi: Not a chance. Roger, can we please leave?

Roger: Umm… sure.

(Before they leave, Roger turns and gives Amber the number for the loft.)

Roger: Call me sometime. And if I don't answer, leave a message. We-

Amber: Screen your calls. I know.

(Mimi pulls Roger out.)

Mark: This is kind of weird.

Vanessa: A little.

Amber: Now, I'm bored. My dear Roger's gone.

Eric: So what do we do now?

Nick: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going home.

(Amber and Eric murmur agreements and follow Nick out of the room, leaving Vanessa, Mark, and Benny alone. Mark looks at Vanessa awkwardly.)

Mark: So… uh… shit, I haven't done this in awhile. Do you want to go out sometime?

Vanessa: Sure.

(Vanessa kisses Mark gently. Benny bangs on the cage bars.)

Benny: GUYS! I'M STILL STUCK IN HERE!

Vanessa: (groans) If I let you out, will you shut up and leave?

Benny: YES!

(Vanessa opens the cage, and Benny runs out of the room screaming.)

Benny: YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY!!!

Mark: (holds out a hand to Vanessa) May I?

Vanessa: (takes his hand) You may.

(the two laugh and leave the room. To where? Even I don't know.)

**A/N- okay, so not my best work, but I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you had fun reading it. Now… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!**


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